I guess it depends on the day.

Some days, the silence is deafening, and all the thoughts I want to avoid push their way in. Other times, I find peace in it. Why can I go from one moment where I can’t handle the silence to the next, where I relish it? Please, someone explain that to me.

Or, traffic can be a nightmare if drivers are zigzagging in and out of lanes like maniacs, and at other times, I couldn’t care less, sitting there and watching the cars act foolish. It’s not my problem after all, and I can’t make the cars move faster anyhow.

My husband’s and kids’ attitudes, their worries, and whatever stressors affect them bother me a great deal, and lately, I find myself telling myself to let them go. Yes, I learned from my readings. Is it easy? Heck, no. I’m a nervous wreck half the time. Do I always succeed in my endeavors? No, I still worry, and I’m still bothered by all the above; it’s a learning curve.

Assigned readings are bothering me at the moment. The latest book I’ve been assigned was done so under the pretense of dealing with the hidden stress in my body and the impact it has on my migraines. In fact, I believe it was to make me address the suppressed feelings of anger I have towards Cancer and Alzheimer’s and also my buried grief related to both these diseases. And to be honest, I’m not sure how to process this. Let’s say there’s a lot to be discussed at my next therapy session.